Recently I was trying to explain to a friend what I do, and he was finding it hard to understand.
He is very much of the opinion that, whatever is going on in your life, you should have a stiff upper lip, pull yourself together, know that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, not air your dirty linen in public and simply get on with it.
And in the case of stopping something – just stop! Smoking/snacking, you have a choice in what you do. If you want to lose weight, just stop eating rubbish. Simple!
But most of us know that life isn’t that simple.
We have millions of thoughts a day. Thoughts that tell us we enjoy cigarettes or we deserve a biscuit (or two). That we are useless, not good enough, a failure. And they can nag away at us until we are exhausted, tearful or wondering what is the point.
My friend has no idea that his thinking is very rigid, very “black and white”.
He thinks he is quite happy, but he is unaware of the impact of his thinking style. He has no clue how how it affects his relationships, his happiness or the number of opportunities it costs him. He wonders why he often feels in a rut, but he thinks he could get out of it if he wanted to!
You could say he is in denial!
Thankfully, by the time most of my clients come to see me, they have moved on from that stage and are actually contemplating change.
Some know exactly what they want, others have mixed emotions, “I want to change… but then, I don’t… I’m worried I can’t, I’ve been doing it for so long” etc.
Being conflicted is perfectly natural.
The important thing is you are aware that something isn’t right, or something needs changing.
And you know in your heart that you’ve suffered long enough.
That’s when you’ll get the motivation you need to get in touch with me.
Heidi Woodgate